Firstly, let me apologize for my behaviour in the last post. I was having a really bad day. To be frank, all my days are bad but I deal with some days better than others. Today was no exception. I was accused of mistreating one of the machines in the lab today and as such I was informed that I would need to be “supervised” if I wanted to do further research. Basically I have now been relegated to the position of a puppet in my own lab. Honestly, I wasn’t even the one that touched the machine. The person who actually tampered with it was also the person that reported the machine broken and found it convenient to blame me for the malfunction. She just stood there and let me take all the heat for something I didn’t do. In hindsight I should have told my supervisor all of this information but in my eyes this was purely minor. However what really got me miffed was the fact that she claimed all of the compounds I spent months preparing as her own today. I can’t believe she has the audacity to tell me which one of my compounds I can and I can’t use (Hello, I am the one that made them. Not you!) However I made this one slide as well. Afterall, it’s somewhat of a co-operative effort when you work in a lab with a bunch of selfish and self important scientists. I also use some of her compounds but I don’t dictate which of her own stuff she can and can’t use. The nerve of some people. Anyway, all of this is out of my hands though because she has the backing of the Head supervisor. There isn’t much I can do about the situation, except quit and I really don’t want to do that right now.
Interestingly, this incident reminds me of when I was a kid and telephones were a complete novelty to us. My friends and I had never seen or even used a telephone in our either life so getting one installed in our home was like amazing. So being the precocious kid I was, I suggested we exchange phone numbers and call each other when we got home. My best friend at the time had no clue how to use a phone, so everytime he called Diana’s house (a close friend of ours) he would hang up the phone when Diana’s mother answered. He kept calling and hanging numerous times with hopes that Diana would pick it up but eventually he gave up when he realized Diana was never going to answer because mommy dearest wouldn’t let her. Immediately, after his futile attempts of contacting her, he calls me and gives me the story. Wanting to talk to Diana myself, I called her house. Diana’s mom answered and I said “Hello” but before I could even get another word out she started to accuse me of calling and hanging up. My mother must have been watching me because she saw that I became really uncomfortable and the expression on my face changed (Reading my emotions are not very easy now because I mask all my emotions with a smile). My mom then took the phone from me and explained the situation to Diana’s mom in a less than friendly tone. That day I saw my mother's fangs come out and they were not pretty. (I love my mom)
Some of you might think I am stupid for supposedly letting people walk all over me but I don’t view it like that. Admittedly, I do let people get away with some very really terrible things that wouldn’t fly with others but I am not the type of person who likes conflict so I avoid it at all cost. It is just not worth my time or effort. Typically stuff that upset majority of other people, don’t even faze me. I think that people have become so selfish and wicked that we have completely lost sight of what it means to love others even those that do us wrong. Not everyone has to fight fire with fire. Some of us like to use water.
Interestingly, this incident reminds me of when I was a kid and telephones were a complete novelty to us. My friends and I had never seen or even used a telephone in our either life so getting one installed in our home was like amazing. So being the precocious kid I was, I suggested we exchange phone numbers and call each other when we got home. My best friend at the time had no clue how to use a phone, so everytime he called Diana’s house (a close friend of ours) he would hang up the phone when Diana’s mother answered. He kept calling and hanging numerous times with hopes that Diana would pick it up but eventually he gave up when he realized Diana was never going to answer because mommy dearest wouldn’t let her. Immediately, after his futile attempts of contacting her, he calls me and gives me the story. Wanting to talk to Diana myself, I called her house. Diana’s mom answered and I said “Hello” but before I could even get another word out she started to accuse me of calling and hanging up. My mother must have been watching me because she saw that I became really uncomfortable and the expression on my face changed (Reading my emotions are not very easy now because I mask all my emotions with a smile). My mom then took the phone from me and explained the situation to Diana’s mom in a less than friendly tone. That day I saw my mother's fangs come out and they were not pretty. (I love my mom)
Some of you might think I am stupid for supposedly letting people walk all over me but I don’t view it like that. Admittedly, I do let people get away with some very really terrible things that wouldn’t fly with others but I am not the type of person who likes conflict so I avoid it at all cost. It is just not worth my time or effort. Typically stuff that upset majority of other people, don’t even faze me. I think that people have become so selfish and wicked that we have completely lost sight of what it means to love others even those that do us wrong. Not everyone has to fight fire with fire. Some of us like to use water.
The world is not a just place and I doubt it ever will but the sooner many of us realize this fact and start developing mechanisms of coping with them the happier we would all be.
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