Tuesday, May 26, 2009


I have lost my zeal to write and as a blogger that is the worst thing ever. The robbery has really done a number on my psych. I am not a functioning member of society right now. I am just going through the motions of day to day living. I don't expect many of you to understand what I am going through because I have learnt recently that in order to understand what someone else is feeling you have to experience it for yourself.Yes, you might sympathize and think you understand, but you have no idea. I once thought I understood what others were feeling when they were going through a rough patch in their life but I was so wrong.

Anyway, for the pass few weeks I was missing in action (M.I.A.) and that was because I got a temporary job which had even worst hours than the job I had before. It was literally a 5am to 8 pm job. I worked non-stop through-out the day, everyday. All in the name of making money. So much for that considering I lost it's cash equivalence in the robbery. It would have been better if I had stayed home.

The job however was not all that bad. However it was ironic that the person who I was assigned to work with, was the very girl that got me so enraged in my previous post Surrounded by Assholes. I guess considering that she has become such a major part of my life now it's only fitting that I give her a name. I will call her Goldy. I never stayed angry at Goldy for what she had done but instead I forgave her and went on with my life. The more I live, the more I see that holding grudges doesn't make life easier and I am glad that I didn't hold one against her. In the job we had to work so closely with each other over the pass few weeks I got to know her better. And my conclusion is that she is a great person. Yes, she is a bit rough around the edges and Yes she does rub alot of people the wrong way but I finally understood where she is coming from and why she behaves the way she does.

Goldy and I really became close friends. She told me everything a close friend would tell another and I even met her family. I am yet to do that for some of my so called close friends. Her brother, who she spoke so much about, asked her one day if I was gay. She recounted the entire conversation she had with him to me and when I heard, I fell into a depression. I met the guy once and from that one time he could tell I was gay. I felt like shit! He was my age and I couldn't even hide it from him. DAMN!! I'm slipping. I couldn't understand why he would bring up my sexuality to her. I hate when people do that. Why should it matter that I act a little gay now and again? However as the days went by I eventually discovered that Goldy's closest friend was gay. WTF? This was the same girl that bashed gay people right infront of me. And what was most surprising, even a bit scary, was the fact that she would willingly out a gay guy to me. How could you do that to your friend? She must have really trusted me. Then again I knew the guy was gay from years ago because he was always giving me, "The Eye" so it wasn't really much of a news to finally hear that he was gay. He was a sexy piece of meat yes but the only reason I was never interested in getting to know him was because he was our teacher and was a little bit outside of my preferred dating range. Furthermore the teacher-student boundary is not one that I am willing to cross, especially considering I never wanted anyone to think my good grades was because I was fucking the teacher. Knowing this information I finally understood why her brother asked such a question.....Goldy is a fag hag. Besides all this, Goldy was also nice enough to drive me home everyday after work and when I came down with the flu (not the swine flu as everyone had claimed) she even stopped at a restaurant and bought me food so I wouldn't have to go home and cook. That was so sweet of her. And I knew she wasn't hitting on me because she has her boyfriend. They are practically married. She even outted another guy to me. If I had confirmed my gayness to her I have no doubt she would've had no problem telling other people I loved to suck dick too. lol

Goldy and I still talk to each other even after our partnership has ended but sadly she and the gay best friend no longer speak. I have been trying to get her to talk to him without luck, but i do hope they come around. I wish they hadn't gotten into a fight. They were so close. It's hard to see two people that got along so well together just call it quits. Anyway, Goldy definitely takes some getting use to but I think she is a great person if you can look pass the flaws.

This is how I want to live my life. Happy, content and at peace with everyone. Why can't everybody else do the same? Unfortunately, it never seems to work out that way.

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