Saturday, February 28, 2009

Broken Gaydar

Those of you that have been reading my posts would already know that I believe there are a lot of men in the world who are gay but just completely closeted. Yeah, I could be wrong but it’s just my little unfounded fanciful impression.

I don’t know why I think that every guy I catch looking at me is automatically gay. Any logical person would know this is not always the case but I find it too comforting so I abandon logic and embrace the illogical when it comes to men. The reason why I mention this is because I think my gaydar is broken. Every guy I see can’t be gay. Can they?

Recently I met another guy on the bus I take to work/school. Yes I know! I meet a lot of guys...too bad nothing ever happens. Anyway, usually everybody pretty much keeps to them self, as every good stranger should but this guy doesn’t seem to follow the norm. While waiting for the bus, he says to me, “I have never seen you take the bus before”. I then said, “Well I have been taking this bus longer than you have but...blah blah blah”. For those of you not familiar with Jamaican cultural norms and practices this is what we would call “Unusual Behaviour”. It’s typical for straight men to strike up a conversation with strange woman but never with a man. Don’t get me wrong this does happen, but not that often, and usually with a valid reason. He however kept asking me a tonne of questions, majority of which I was reluctant to answer because I was tired. I just wanted to squeeze a power nap in before I got home but that wasn’t happening. Anyway he seems like a pretty nice guy but everytime since then he goes out of his way to talk to me. For instance I was talking to one of my friends at the Bus stop and he comes over and starts talking to me as if he was apart of the conversation already. For a while I was standing there in disbelief (Is this guy serious?). I don’t know if he’s gay but it’s certainly not normal behaviour. I must admit though, I like the attention. Perhaps I should turn him into my slave boy. No? lol

This is beside the point though, because I definitely think there must be something wrong with my gaydar. But, “What is gaydar anyway?” As far as I can tell gaydar is just an action of obsessive staring. A guy looks at you, you look back, you do this a couple more times and this then establishes a sense of attraction. Nothing more, nothing less. OK! I know! This is a simple minded view of defining gaydar but this is what it feels like to me. Obviously, mannerisms and certain flags will also play a part in your overall assessment of the guy but sometimes you don’t have the time to make a truly informed assessment so you have to make a split decision. Not that you need to though, unless you're planning on sleeping with him or want to.In my case, he’s often put in my “Gay book”. However my problem with this is the fact that you can never really tell who is gay and who is not. It’s based entirely on your assumption of how the person looks at you. For all you know, they might be looking at the toilet paper stuck to your shoe or a big chunk of food plastered on your teeth. You never know! Gaydars are pretty much useless to me.

For those of you that have been 99% successful with this gay detection tool, Congratulations! Perhaps you can give me some pointers on how to improve mine. I want it fixed. NOWWW!!!

1 comment:

  1. As the first pic colorfully shows...gaydar is all in the eyes :)

    Its the walk...its the talk...its the courage to make the move...but most of all its the eyes..

    Its the glance that lingers...those eyelashes that flicker ever so often

    ...its all that stuff