Thursday, February 12, 2009

Sexual Exposure: Chapter 2

During my childhood years I was moved around from family to family for quite a while but unlike many children who hated being passed around from one place to the next, I actually enjoyed do it. I never really knew my father and my mother was working hard to ensure we would have a better life so both of them were never usually around in the early stages of my development. However even at that age I understood what my mother was trying to do, so I never resented her for leaving for a few years. My father is another story. Despite this, living with my family was great because they were all nice and it might account for the strong bonds I have with my family today. I always had my cousins near by to play with and a million adventures with them that I wouldn’t otherwise have gotten if I was living with my mom. I still fondly remember those memories and the scars to prove them. I guess living with them shaped me for the better. For instance, I had to make friends quickly after moving to a new place, so as an adult I guess it could explain why I’m such a “Social Butterfly”. Also I love to travel and perhaps moving around as a kid only re-enforced my passion to see more of the world.

The first person I ever remembered living with was Aunty Alexis and it was here that I had my first sexual experience. We lived in a little complex in the rural areas where everybody knew everybody. However, I distinctly recall only remembering three kids from that time; my best friend, Mike, who lived right beside me and a girl, Grace, and her brother, Dean, who lived beside him. Surprisingly, guys were never on my radar at that age so I started out my life experimenting more with girls than I did with boys or at least I didn’t really care to notice who I was really attracted to at that age because it was just “playing”.

One day while playing outside, Grace comes up to me and says I should follow her to the back of Mr. Johnson’s garage. However Mr. Johnson lived a few houses away in the heavily bushy area and I hated going down there because I was always afraid I was going to get lost in the tall grasses. But Grace was a few years older than I was so I decided to stop playing with my other friends and follow her. When we got to the back of the garage she turned around and told me to pull down my shorts. And like an idiot I did and she then told me to pull down my underwear. Even to this day I still remember that underwear. It was white, tight and woolly looking. Honestly I don’t know who in their right mind would have made something so ugly. It reminds me of shag carpeting now. Anyway, after pulling down my undies, Grace then touching my penis then pulled away her hand as if it were going to bite her. She then started rubbing it in her hands even more. I don’t even remember if I got an erection from the rubbing because this was such a weird experience. Grace then proceeded to pull down her panties from under her skirt. Being curious, I started touching her vagina too, after which I would smell my fingers. It was so raw. This continued for like a minute but felt more like an eternity at that age. Grace then leaned against the garage wall with her legs spread apart and pulled me closer to her. I went in between her legs and we started rubbing our private area together. Lightly at first then it got harder and harder and harder and at this point I definitely had an erection. Strangely enough, I don’t know how we knew to do that because I had never seen porn or sex in my life. I don’t want to give ages because I don’t remember how old I was exactly, but I think I was either 4 or 5. Then all of a sudden we hear footsteps. We scrambled to get our clothes on before the person turned onto the walkway and luckily we were able to accomplish that.

It was my Aunty and she had gotten worried when she didn’t see me. She asked us what we were doing and we both said, “Nothing!” at the same time. lol

Grace tried to do it again another time by rubbing the crotch of my pants when we were in her house alone but I told her no. It was just too weird for me and the idea of getting caught was scary. Interestingly enough in spite of all that I think about her brother the most. I always wondered what became of the guy. Not because I was attracted to him but because he was so damn ugly. I know that’s mean but he was really not a pretty sight. All is teeth were rotten to stubs for one and a lot of other things about him needed fixing. I hope he grow up from the ugly duckling to the beautiful swan.

Years after when I moved back with my mom she would ask me why I had stopped wearing the woolly underwear and I responded by telling her they were just too old, small and ugly, which they were. But in actuality I just couldn’t bear to wear them again after what I did in them. I just didn’t want to remember.

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