Monday, August 17, 2009

He's Definitely Gay

After I got back from shopping today I saw some guys playing basketball at the end of the street. These guys were so young and fit. Seeing them flex their shirtless bodies kicked me into exercise mode. Because I am no longer in Jamaica, I can no longer do my regular exercise routine so I often go cycling in the evenings when the sun gets cooler. When I am in Florida I can't help but go riding. It's Awesome. They have wide sidewalks, lots of places to go and there is always a chance you will run into someone hot while doing it. Furthermore, I was also feeling a bit sexy in my short shorts so I took the opportunity to show off my

When I had worked up a sweat I started to head back home. While coming up the street guess who I ran into? Yup, that cute guy from across the road. [I am tired of calling him that so lets call him...Marco]. When I saw him, I screamed in my head like a little school girl, "There he is. There he is!!!" So as I was passing by I said Hi. To which he responded "You are back. How long have you been here? I haven't seen you around in so long" The fact that he said that made me feel great. Marco remembered who I was. I told him that I got here last week but I was leaving in 2 days. He then said, "No. Not again" When he said that I burst into laughter. His little face was so cute. I then told him I was going to be in Florida more often so it wouldn't be long before he saw me again. That seemed to have cheered him up. We then kept talking until he asked me how old I was again. I told him I was now 23. He then told me that I looked like 18, which was not surprising because everyone always thinks I am younger than I actually am. He then said he was 37. I was shocked once again. I thought he was 33. My God he's old. He doesn't even look like 37 for Pete's sake. He looks younger.

Recently, I find myself being sucked in by older guys. Am I going to be the type that only dates older guys? Anyway we had a great catching up conversation and it only reaffirmed to me while I was attracted to him in the first place. We talked about his job, school, Puerto Rico, where he was living before, his uncle etc etc. And in the middle of it he told me that I could come over to his house anytime and just hang out. If I were here longer I would have definitely gone over. He's a nice guy. I think we actually became friends at the end of that conversation. If I had the balls I would go over to his house tomorrow. But the age gap is giving me a problem. He is 14 years older than I am. Oh well. I am going to remain in touch with him either way.

Today I also got an email from Brad. He was this white boy I met at a hotel a few years ago. A few months later I ws flying to Boston to see him again. He and I have a long history together. A very mixed up history which eventually involved his boyfriend. I will definitely write about him in one of my up coming Sexual Exposure issues. Brad is one of those all American sweet hearts who is rich and cares about everybody. Anyway, he told me that he has been thinking about me a lot lately and wanted to find out how I was doing. He even wanted to know if I had any romantic interests at the moment. I told him I didn't and that everything was fine etc tec. Brad is a sweet guy with a huge heart but he is certainly not my type.

Everytime I write posts like these, I am impressed with myself. For someone in the closet, living in a homophobic country I certainly have alot of stories to tell. Imagine if I was out.....which might be sooner than I expect.

I honestly can't tell what people see in me. Sometimes I can't even look my damn self in the mirror.


  1. I'm so glad I'm hearing good news from you! Hope school is fine n u come out to people n u have fun like I did!

    PS Remember to think happy thoughts :P

  2. I don't know if I will be having fun like you. You are wild. lol. Right now I am stressed out to the core. Thinking happy thoughts is hard. Adjusting to a new surrounding is harder than I thought.