Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Social Butterfly

So I have been here on campus for a couple days now and I have seen alot of really cute boys walking around but it seems like none of them are even giving me a second glance. I was getting really disheartened. At one point I thought I might not be dressing well enough to catch anyone's eye so I placed more effort into how I looked. Still there was no reaction from any guy. This was the last straw. I was going to give up even trying to attract a guy. This was turning out to be just like Jamaica. I tired to tell myself that no one is going to be attracted to you by just walking by but even so I was getting depressed.

Tonight, all of that kinda changed. TONIGHT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!! So they had a pizza party for all the international students tonight and I decided that I was going to go. I already knew a few people there, because I met them at orientation yesterday, so it was a bit easier for me to go around and socialize. This party was meant to bring all the international students from all the groups together so it had alot more people there than the previous day so I was a bit intimidated when I walked into the room and saw all these new faces. However when I walked into the room this guy from Russia, who I also met yesterday, made a B-Line right for me. He was kinda following me around yesterday. I was somewhat attracted to him and I would guess the attraction was mutual. I don't know if he was really attracted to me though. It's hard to tell now because people from other countries tend to behave differently, which doesn't necessarily mean they are gay. He asked me if I could help him and I told him yes. So I did. We had a great chat throughout the night but like yesterday he was staring at me alot.

Anyway, they did a roll call of the countries there and started from A and worked their way down. When they got to Jamaica, everybody in the room kinda turned around to see who the person from Jamaica was, not that they weren't turning around to see others from other countries too. However when they did everybody kinda gave me the biggest reaction of the night. They were like WHOoooo JAMAICAAA!! I kid you not. I was shocked. I honestly don't even know why they would even do anything like that. There were practically more than 40 countries there, with alot of students from each, and they didn't even get that kind of reaction. It was soooo weird. I am still puzzled why they would even give me such a good repsonse. I know it's not because of Usain Bolt because nobody even mentioned it.

After the formalities were over everybody went their way and started chatting to each other. I had my group of friends already so I sticked close to them but I slowly started to go around and talk to everybody as the night progressed. During the night a group of very good looking guys started to assemble around the back of the room. Most of them were from Germany, Austria Spain and Italy. So as I was walking towards them to make my way across the room they all just stopped talking and started staring at me. It was so creepy. To make it not feel so awkward I smiled, said hi and kept walking. Even then they were still staring. It was really weird. Why were all these guys looking on me? They made me very uncomfortable. At firstly, I thought, "They must be making fun of me because back home people always do" The fact they were staring made me feel terrible. I hate people making jokes about me. Leave me alone!!!

Shortly afterwards, all of them walked up to me and started chatting me up. This has never happened to me before so I was a little surprised. All of them were asking me questions. Where do you live? What are you studying? Will you be on campus alot? I love your accent! Do you live by yourself? How long have you been here? One of them even said to me, "I live on...... Hall and my room number is ..... You can come over anytime if you don't want to travel all the way back home because I don't have a roommate" At one point I started to think to myself, "This is weird. Why are they being so nice? These boys must think I can give them Marijuna or something or at least they must want me to throw a party at my house for them." I thought, "Nobody is this friendly" so I started to pull away from them because I didn't know why I was getting all this attention. I left them and walked away to talk to other people but every minute one of them would show up beside me. One of them actually placed his arm around my waist and gently pulled me towards him so that we could talk. Instantly, I thought to myself does he realize what he is doing? (I told myself it was a cultural behaviour and nothing sexual). Later on, another one of them came to me and started talking with me again. This time he said to me, "have you ever seen the snow?" I told him no. "It gets really cold here" he says" I told him I know. To which he responds, "I know you are not use to the cold because you are from a tropical country but perhaps you and I can warm each other up." I swear to God that's what he said. I then realized, these guys must be gay. But they couldn't. All of them can't be gay. That's not possible. This must be how they behave normally I thought. Honestly, I don't know what to think right now. With European guys I can never tell. I have never spoken with any before and I know they have tends to do stuff out of the normal but still be straight. While this was great, I was still a bit sad that the guy from the UK wasn't as into me as the other boys. He was mega hot. It's always the really hot ones that are never interested. What a shame. Some of them even wanted my phone number. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN.......I haven't gotten it as yet. I could kick myself.

Before I left, the University Director for International Affairs came up to me and said, "I am so impressed with you. You are a natural social butterfly! Everybody wants to talk with you and you get along well with so many people." I was shcoked that she would even say something like that to me. No ne has ever called me a social butterful. I guess in Jamaica I was too afraid to show who I really was, so I never really spoke to anyone, but here no one really cares about what you do behind closed doors so I wasn't afraid to be myself. When she said that I realized that I had indeed spoken to everyone in that room. I was having such a good time that I didn't even realize what I had accomplished. I felt comfortable in my skin for once. By the end of the night I knew everyone in that room so well that I was able to even organized a travel group for those people living close to me. I guess that was the leadership part of me coming out. By the end of the party 10 people were leaving with me to the bus stop. I am good friends will all of them now. We even planned to attend a party on campus together on Friday night and next friday we are going to a black light party then a bar downtown. I am so excited. All in all I have made 10 close friends and made plans to attend 2 Friday night parties already. I am sure there are going to be tonnes of fresh meat at these parties. Not bad for someone who got here only a few days ago. Right?

On the bus there was also this cute blond guy sitting right across from me. I saw a wedding ring on his finger so I never paid him any attention. But then I realized that he was staring on me alot. I would catch him staring, our eyes would meet and he would smile and look away. He was so adorable. When we looked at each other it was not even for a second it was like 5 secs of staring and smiling. That's pretty long in my book. Certainly longer than any I have had before. And we kept looking at each other and smiling that's until he jumped into the conversation my friends and I were having. We talked a little until it was time for him to get off the bus. He is very sweet but I don't know what to think about that ring on his finger. I asked him where he lived but he told me ....... I was so pissed. I wanted him to stay on the bus so badly. Or at least live in my neighbourhood. He was so hot.

Well if all of that can happen to me in one night and 90% of the student population isn't on campus yet, I can only imagine what it will be like when they do get here. I am very optimistic about the rest of the year. I haven't even mentioned what the girls did yet. I don't think I will, but there is definitley some attraction going on here too. I really don't want to live a double life again but it's so hard to say the words, "I'm gay" openly. I like the idea of fooling around with guys discreetly. It turns me on like that.


  1. Dont worry babe the word will come to you naturally. You just need time and to feel more comfortable with ur self. On a side note, being european and living in the UK for 2 years I have to say the guys' behavior is excessive. They are probably gay and they like you
    1. Because you know what they say about jamaicans...
    2. Europeans usually go to the USA thinking its the most open n liberal place ever where they can have loooads of fun far away from home where nobody knows
    3. A lot of europeans and me personally are into black people ;)
    4. Yer cute!

  2. I honestly don't know what to think. Perhaps it's just their weird way of being friendly. We'll see. I might run into they tomorrow night. Trying to get a phone before then. lol

    1. True for some
    2. Happy day for me until they find someone hotter :)
    3. Sweet
    4. Awwwww. You too Slut. lol :D