Life Unmoved

Everytime my blog experiences a hiatus I always feel the need to apologize to my readers. It's a strange feeling to have. Anyway, for those of you that might be interested in what's going on in my life then I am afraid you aren't going to enjoy this post. The Reason? My life is pretty stagnant at the moment. :( Therefore if you feel the need to go and do something more fun, I wouldn't blame you. I often experience emotional rollercoasters. So one minute I am on top of the world and the next minute I am feeling like a bag of shit. Right now I feeling like a bag of shit. So if you don't want to hear me whine about my life again then I suggest you run along.

For those of you still here. Lets Go!!

First on my list to talk about is the fact that I got a new phone. I love it so much. I was broke when I bought it but I decided that despite this minor annoyance I was going to get a decent phone for once in my life. It is a LG enV3 Slate Blue. This phone does so much. I don't even think I am even going to use all the phones' features anyway. The thing I love the most about it is the camera. The pictures are out of this world good, by my standards. Now that I have a phone number I am having second thoughts about giving it to the girl that wanted me to be her boyfriend and the police guy I met shortly before I left Jamaica. I don't know if I should give it to either. Determining whether I should is alot more complicated than it appears. I think the police guy should definitely get it but not too sure about the girl. It might give her the wrong idea. Also the fact that she has somewhat of a relationship with my mother makes it even more difficult to withhold it. DAMN DAMN DAMN!! I am not even going to stress over it.

Also I finally went to a real gym. I have always wanted to go to one. Now I have! It is, for a lack of a better word....AWESOME. Honestly I would love to go everyday but I don't have that kind of time. The first day I went it was only to get a feel of the place and learn how some of the machines worked. I really wish I had someone to walk me through it and show me the ropes but I guess observation will have to do for now. The second day I went to the gym I really got into the workout. I hit almost all of the weight machines and spent like 10 mins on each of the cardio machines. There are alot of machines there if you were wondering.....Three very big rooms filled with workout machines. After the workout I felt so pumped that I went jogging across campus. Yup, it was pretty insane. The next day I woke up I literally couldn't move. My arms were locked in a V position. Extending them outwards was like someone ripping skin from flesh. My legs burned like the shit. But despite the shit ass pain I was glad I got a good workout. Might I also add that there were a lot of hot guys walking around too. Unfortunately I never seemed to connect with any of them which really bummed me out. I couldn't even tell if any of these guys were gay. It was that bad. You guys can't even comprehend how badly I want some dick. I feel like I am losing my freaking mind. And all these sexy ass hotties walking around campus do not help the fucking situation. I am on the brink of doing something cazy, if nothing happens soon.

It's like hottie central here and I can't even get a little nookie. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!!! What the hell do I need to do to get some attention? Walk around naked or swing my cock out in public? Because subtlety is not working out. lol

While I am on the topic of guys I must also add that I met another Jamaican guy here during orientation. I purposely didn't mention him. I don't know why I did that. Perhaps because I thought he had nothing of interest to offer my blog. He too was also very good looking by my standards but despite coming from the same country we didn't have that much in common. That's until I did a little investigating. It turns out he has been living here for a few years AND is also GAY. This little occurance reminds of something someone said to me recently (well actually two ppl said it to me...you guys know yourselves). They said most caribbean people studying abroad are gay and I think I am beginning to think they were right; afterall they have been doing this longer than I have. He didn't strike me as gay but he dressed really well. And this guy is pretty open with his sexuality too. God, I envy people who can do that freely and not feel weird about it. Perhaps one day I'll achieve the same thing.

I also met another Jamaica guy here. Yes, Jamaicans are everywhere. Infact I know four Jamaicans here already. The other two are girls and I know for a fact that there are other Jamaicans living close by as well. However I have not met the others as yet. Anyway, I was on my way to class and I saw this very peculiar looking man walking out of the building I was heading to. He stood out like a sore thumb. He was an older gentleman, wearing a jacket and a felt hat with a breifcase in hand and a huge grin on his face. He was a bit on the short side and obviously had the characteristics and behaviour of someone I would have classified as being gay. As I was walking pass him be turns and says, "What is your name?" This was really strange behaviour. No one had done this thus far since I have been here. But out of the blue he strikes up a conversation with someone he doesn't even know, who is rushing pass him to get to class? Despite the oddness of it all, I told him my name. He then asked me where I was from? So I told him I was from Jamaica. He then said "I am the guy you were talking to earlier this year" I was like "Oh really? What a coincidence running into you like this on the sidewalk" He didn't look at all like I imagined. [Flashback: My advisor gave me the email of this Jamaica guy he knew who worked in the building teaching students part time, so I decided to send him an email asking him how he found living in the area etc. He responded, I thanked him and that was it. Nothing more nothing less] Long story short he told me to send him another email, so that we can set a date to have lunch. Did I tell him I wanted to have lunch with him? No. He's not even my type. I have yet to send that email and I doubt I will. If I see him again I will tell him I lost it. And if I do respond, I have no intention of having lunch with him. He gives me the creeps.

Last night I also went to this party I mentioned a few weeks ago. I really forgot all about it until someone called me last night and asked if I was ready. I really wasn't feeling up to the party mood but I decided to go anyway. And I am glad I did. It has been the best party I have been to thus far. I didn't meet a guy if that's what you are wondering. It appears that I am failing miserably in that department. Hope it's not a repeat of Jamaica. Anyway the party was indeed off the hook. I left that party soaked in sweat. My shirt, my pants and my underwear were all wet. Even my signature on my student ID, which I had in my pocket, got wiped clean from all the sweat I generated. That party was so much fun and the food was good for once. Might I also add that since I have been here I have put on 20 lbs (9 kg). Loving it. I'll soon be at my ideal weight. My friends here know mw for two things now 1. Eating and 2. Working out. While at the party these two white freshmen girls came over and started dancing with me. I guess they didn't see the other two girls I came with. lol. These freshers were pretty smoking too. If I were straight I would have definitely tried and hit one of them last night or to make it even more interesting the both of them. Always wanted to do a threesome. I wished it were two guys though. lol. I need some quality dick NOW!!!!

Whoever gets my virginity better be prepared for an all nighter. Working off all this built up sexual suppression is going to take a while. At this point I am more into attraction (aka looks) than finding a complete package. I don't really care if we even acknowledge each other afterwards. All I want is the fucking anyway. As long as he looks amazing naked I'll be happy. Hope I get my wish...SOOON!!!! Honestly I'm losing my freaking mind here. Can you imagine having all the candy you ever wanted sitting right infront of you and not being able to even take a small bite? Well if you can then you will know exactly what I am dealing with.