Sunday, November 8, 2009

Update on People Anxiety

So yesterday I spoke about how I think I was consciously sabotaging my relationships with current friends as well as with potential new ones. Well today it was evident that I am doing just that.

One of the guys I wrote yesterday, the one I begged to write me back if he was reading, did. In the email he said, "Sorry to have Bothered you". I read his email and shaked my head in dismay. I did it again. [Sigh]

I then wrote him back, explaining that it was never my intention to give him the impression that I was turning a cold shoulder. To which he responded, "I understand". I then said " I really hope you do. Don't be a stranger you seem to be a nice guy". It then took a turn for the worst, in which he basically thrown my kindness, or at least what I thought was kindness, back into my face....."If you can't make time for me then why should I make time for you. Just being real", he says. It sounded reasonable enough but the tone was all wrong. I have too much going on in my life to be concerned with the "drama" of a faceless individual. That friendship is pretty much dead in the water now for all I care.

Interacting with people you meet online can be so tricky. I never have any idea what they expect. And if it means I have to leave my comfort zone to let it work or you can't wait until I can leave my comfort zone then it's not going to happen between you and I. It's unfortunate yes, because many of these people "seem" nice but until I can trust you. You aren't getting shit from me.

Oh well relationship are not for everybody.


  1. We gay men sometimes have too much drama surrounding us. You obviously don't need a friendship that already has that much of vitriol at its basement.

    There are many men around who would respond better