Monday, August 17, 2009

Sexual Exposure 7: Derrick the Rapist Part 2

So I have finally mustered up the energy to write this. To be frank I don’t even feel in the mood to blog right now. I am feeling a tad stressed. I have so much stuff to get done. And to make matters worse I missed True Blood and Hung. Not because I didn’t remember, but because my aunt doesn’t have HBO. I want to cry. I love that show. It kills me that I can’t watch it now. Additionally, I am feeling quite horny. I haven’t gotten a minute to myself in days and I am going mad for some release. The fact that I am watching Logo is making it even worst. I would never in a million years think that I would have had the opportunity to watch a completely gay channel. It feels so good that I can. I watched Logo all day yesterday. It was fun. All the hot guys and gay themed shows, I can see why it’s a big hit with the boys. Anyway this is not what I am here to talk about.

In my last sexual exposure post I wrote about most of the odd things I observed Derrick doing around me. As I said before I had no reason to suspect that Derrick had any alternative reasons for acting so crazy. Just one of the weird stuff guys did, I would often assume. Being someone who hated living in a dorm I often went home on the weekends to get away from all the madness. On one particular Friday night I decided that I was going to stick around and get some work done. Deciding not to go home, I went to one of the computer labs on campus to use the internet. At this point I didn’t own a laptop, so I had to rely on the campus computers to get my work done. Around 1 am I was getting really tired and bored so I decided to log into my messenger to see if there was anyone there to keep me company. Everyone else had gone out to this huge party that was being held on campus but I never went because I was not a party person. When I logged in I saw Derrick and we started to chat. It was a bit strange seeing him online because I thought he would have gone to the party too. Anyway, I was getting even more tired so I told Derrick I was going to head off to bed. He then said “I hope you don’t disturb your mom on your way to bed”. I then told him that I was not at home. I was on campus. He then said, “In that case. Stop by Room 213 on your way up” I told him OK.



I was still a very naïve person at this stage in my life, so I never really thought twice about the dangers of going to another guy’s room at 2 in the morning. Furthermore, Derrick was a friend; I didn’t need to think twice. However what I found strange was that he told me room 213. Derrick did not live in 213. That should have been my first sign that something was off. Anyway, I put the fear aside and went. When I knocked on the door Derrick opened it and I walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. We engaged in a little chit-chat, where it was revealed to me that he was only in the room because he wanted to check some sensitive stuff online. I was curious about what sensitive stuff he was talking about so he walked over to his laptop and opened a few windows. He then called me over and showed me what was there. What I saw shocked and scared me and I immediately felt the urge to leave. He had a lot of naked guys on his laptop doing all sort of gay stuff. This was not something we had discussed or anything. He just threw it in my face and I didn’t know how to react. I was gay too but this was not something I wanted to face or discuss with anyone. What did he expect from me? He immediately started talking about how he liked dick etc etc. And the more he talked the more I wanted to leave. I could not take it anymore so I told him it was time for me to go bed. I got up to leave but he grabbed my wrist. He was really holding on tight. I then tried to use my other hand to lift his fingers off but he was so friggin strong. I honestly thought he was playing around. I told him to let go but his grip got even tighter and he got really serious. I was scared. I then tried to use my other hand to pry his fingers off again but this time he grabbed my other wrist too. At this point I realized Derrick wasn’t playing.

Derrick then proceeded to push me down on the bed and climb on top of me. I couldn’t even imagine what was happening. This was only suppose to happen to girls. He had me pinned securely to the bed. I couldn’t even move. I am not going to get into what he said to me throughout the entire ordeal but the gist of it was that he was going to fuck me and that I was going to like it. He even told me that he was attracted to me for a long time but found it hard to get my attention. For him, my games were going to end tonight. Can you imagine that prick? I wasn’t playing any games. I just didn’t have any romantic feelings for him…Plain and Simple. But that was no reason to force himself on me. He then started to hump me and grind his cock into mine. Nothing I said deterred him from doing it. Derrick then started to kiss my neck and stick is tongue in my ear. That was so gross. He then started to kiss my cheek and work his way up to my lips. When he got close to my lips I turned my face away and told him that if he didn’t stop I was going to scream. I know that was a girly thing to do but nobody had ever tried to rape me before. I didn’t know what else to do. It was the only thing that was going through my head at the time. I knew I couldn’t over power him because he was so much stronger and bigger than I was. The weight of his body alone was crushing me. He immediately took one of his hands from my wrist and covered my mouth with it. I guess the shock of him taking away that option gave me the extra energy I needed to fight back because I was able to use my free hand to push him off.




I made a dash for the door but when I got there it was locked. Derrick must have locked it when I came into the room. That fucking asshole. Needless to say before I could get it open Derrick was dragging me back to the bed. He was livid now. That fucker then slapped me in my face and told me to behave. I couldn’t believe it? Who did he think I was? This time around he was still pinning my hands down but with one hand. Even with one hand he was too damn strong for me. Sometimes I think, perhaps I was the one that was too weak. Derrick then made it even worst by pulling down his shorts to expose his erect penis. This had to stop. If I didn’t do something now I really would become a rape victim. He then started to rub his penis all over my leg and poke me with it. I really didn’t want to scream because it would have been too embarrassing. I wouldn’t be able to do anything without people whispering. He then started to slide his hand into my pants and started rubbing my cock. No! No! No! No! NO! STOP!! He just kept doing it. I wanted to cry but I fought back the tears. Derrick then started to loosen my belt buckle and that did it. This had to stop now. I really didn’t want to kick him in his nuts but he just wouldn’t stop. He left me no choice. I knew it was going to hurt but I didn’t want to do that to him. Sometimes I think I am such a dumb ass. Why did I care if it was going to hurt him? He was trying to rape be for God sakes. Anyway, I angled my knee accordingly and swiftly connected it with his nuts. He immediately curled up in a ball and rolled of me.

Once again I made a mad rush to the door and was successful in getting outside this time. Thank God I was free. I then ran downstairs. Ran to my room. Shut my door and crawled into bed. That night I cried myself to sleep. Somehow I was happy I wasn’t raped but at the same time angry that it even happened. Why do all these bad things happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? The next morning when I got up my wrists were black and blue and there was a welt on my face from where he slapped me. I felt awful. That dog shit. In the need to escape I had even forgot my school bag in the room. I went back to the room to get it but was told by the person there that Derrick had it. Why didn’t this boy leave me alone? I didn’t want to go to his room to collect my bag so I brought a friend with me so that he wouldn’t try anything. I didn’t tell her why I wanted her to follow me. When I got to Derrick’s room he was all smiles. He didn’t even show any remorse for what he did to me. He just acted like nothing ever happened. I honestly wanted to take a gun and shoot him in the head. I thought he was my friend. Why would he do this to me? Before I left he told me that he intended to finish what he started. I didn’t know what to do. For a while I was afraid to do anything by myself. However one day while I was walking into the building someone told me that Derrick had gone back home. This must have been a joke. This was an Oh Happy Day!! Apparently he had tired the same thing with another guy but this guy wasn’t at all tight lipped about it. He told everybody. Eventually everyone heard. A gang was formed which gave Derrick a sound beating that resulted in him leaving the country the next day. I can’t tell you how happy I was to hear that. I was finally free to go back to a normal life.

Surprisingly, I still function relatively well today. I don’t think I am suffering from any mental limitations because of it though. Life goes on. I’m a bit more cautious with whom I talk to and associate with now. And I don’t really trust people as much anymore. It takes a lot out of me to trust anyone.

So that’s it. Now you and I are the only ones who know this story. I don’t think I was a victim so please don’t make me feel like one. Thanks.

2 comments:

  1. Your experiences are more common that you think. Most of us just never share them.

    Thank you for sharing.

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  2. Wow.. that must have been very traumatic. I am glad you are able to leave this behind you and you didn't let him win, both at that time and today. You have been able to let this go and don't make it bother you.

    ReplyDelete