The Doctors: Yesterday and Today

TODAY

Today was an absolutely awesome day. Unlike many other days when I sit around the house and watch TV, I actually went to the beach. It makes me feel guilty that I live in a country with so many beaches and I hardly ever go to any. It has been years upon years since I last went to a beach, so today was beyond great for me. Needless to say, I am dead tired. I don't even want to blog right now but I know if I don't then all the stuff I have to write about is going to pile up.

The day started with a visit to the shopping centre, which was a pain. My mother and I bought a floss yesterday but she forgot to collect it when she was leaving the store so I had to go back this morning to collect it. After I left the store I went to my family doctor. I wanted her to fill out a medical form for me, but she wasn't in the office so I had to use one of the other doctors, which was a bad idea because they charged me $1700 for two little words. When I got into the waiting area I heard someone calling my name. It was Aunty Keelie. I was shocked to see her there. What was she doing in the doctors office? She had brought my little cousin (Aunty Alexis's son) to the doctor for a rash he had developed overnight. While we were waiting, she told me that after she left the doctor's office she was going to take him and my three other cousins to the beach. I told her I wanted to go but she said she wasn't going to wait for me because I had so many other patients ahead of me. I was however able to talk to the secretary, who pushed me ahead of the other persons. These people were waiting for hours. Yes it's unfair but I asked for what I wanted. If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you don't.

I had no clothes for the beach but I went straight from the doctor's office to the beach anyway. Luckily my other cousins had extra clothes I could borrow. They are around my age, so I wasn't wearing children clothes, just in case you were wondering. It was a really fun day. I don't know if it was me but almost all the guys on the beach were super hot. Jamaican men are are a very sexy bunch. All those nice bodies on the beach made me appreciate the Jamaican Physique even more. I am still surprised there were so many good looking guys on the beach. They were much better looking than I am and that's saying alot. Can't wait to go back.

YESTERDAY

Recently, I have been having a bit of problem seeing out of my glasses so my mother decided to take me to her ophthalmologist yesterday. I told you I was a nerd. lol. I only wear it when I have to read stuff at school or lectures though. Ok. That's a lie. I have to wear it anytime I want to read anything far away. Anyway, it now turns out that I have developed astigmatism in my right eye. Boo Hoo. What can I do? It happens. My eyes are shit. I have to live with it. Anyway after waiting 3 freakin' hours to see the doctor we left and went to buy some food. It was late so we knew that we couldn't go home and cook dinner. While we were in the Chinese restaurant my mother ran into an acquaintance. She asked me if I remembered him and I turned to him and said, "You were a police officer right?" To which he responded, "I still am" We all then did a little chit-chatting while the food was being prepared. It was taking forever so I told my mother I wanted to buy a roll of floss in the meantime. We both went to the store. Getting the floss was also taking long so I told her I was going back to the restaurant to collect the food. So I left her in the store expecting her to collect the floss. She never did. Apparently she thought I had already collected it.

When I got back to the restaurant I saw that the police guy was still there. We started talking again afterwhich he asked me for my cell number. I thought it was strange. Why was he asking me? Why not my mother? I immediately thought, "This guy must be gay." He then told me that he wanted us to keep in contact. So I gave him my number afterwhich he left. He didn't even write it down or anything. I thought for sure he would forget it. My mother then came back to the restaurant and asked me if I remembered Sarah. I told her yes. She told me that Sarah and the police officer were dating but broke it off. My mother then said "He is such a nice guy. I don't know why they broke up". In my mind I was thinking, "Perhaps because he's gay. No straight guy is going to ask me from my number"

Later that night I got a text from a number I didn't know and in it, it stated, "This is the guy you gave your number to today. Save my number so that we can keep intouch..." I then texted him back and told him I was impressed that he remembered it. He then texted me back and said, "A number like mine one will and cannot forget." How sweet I thought. We kept texting/flirting back and forth until he asked, "How old r u? Can I call you now..." I told him I was 22 and that it was too late for him to call me.... He could have called me but it was after midnight and I really didn't want my mother asking me any questions. He then texted me back and told me that he was 31 and wanted me to save his email as well, which I thought was great because I communicate best throught the written word. He then asked me if he could confide in me. I told him that he couldn't find anyone more trustworthy than I am. He then told me that he was attracted to me ever since I was in high school but I was just too young, so he had to force himself to keep his hands off me. Furthermore he was a police officer so he couldn't break the law. The age of consent in Jamaica is 16 and I was 14. I then told him I was no longer in high school and I wasn't that young anymore. He wrote me back and asked me if I was his "type" because he was worried that someone like me wouldn't be interested in him. He is a very good looking, sweet guy but I really haven't explored my sexuality that much as yet so I want to keep my opinions open. I told him I didn't have a type, which was a lie. We kept texting way into the morning until he asked me if he could see me again. I told him yes. I'm the one that should set the date so I am thinking about next week friday.

I love flirting with guys but anytime it starts evolving beyond the flirting stage I get freaked out. It's almost like everytime a guy wants to meet me and get some face to face time, my self-sabotage mechanism kicks in. I just get this urge to put an end to the relationship right there and then. I am trying very hard to break out of this mould and go beyond my comfort stage.

It was getting really really late so he decided he was going to allow me to get some rest "Because a guy like me he would sex all night long". He then said Sorry. "Text all night long." I thought it was a corny joke but I loved it. When I went to bed my entire underwear was soaked with precum. Damn it! I can't control it. What made it even more nice was that he even offered to give me back all the money I used while texting but I told him it was fine.

I did a meet up like this once before with a guy I might on the internet. He was a super hot guy, but we didn't have any chemistry so nothing happened between us. Furthermore he was a Jamaican studying abroad and was only here for vacation so it would have never worked. Preparing to meet him made me a nervous wreck. Preparing to meet this police guy is making me a nervous wreck now. Getting involved with someone is so scary for me.

Now that I have finally met a nice guy that I (almost) know it scares me. I would be more comfortable if he was around my age though. It never totally comes together, EVER!! Does it?

Anyway, while writing this I got a call from a girl I gave my number to earlier this week too. She likes me but I don't like her that way. She tired to find out if I had a girlfriend. I told her no and she was shocked that I didn't, because "someone like me should have one". Her words exactly. Also she even tried to find out what I did all day today as well as what I was doing this weekend, what I was doing next week. Anytime I talk to girls I always feel uncomfortable. She even asked me how old I was too. (Always a mjor indicator when someone is interested in you.) I just want to keep it on the friend level with her. But when girls pursue me I always feel weird.

I am now trying to joggle a guy and a girl at the same time. My head hurts.

[Sorry guys. I will try to finish the sexual exposure part 2 soon. I will not be anywhere near the internet for a couple days so that's next week business. I also have some major major news to tell you guys too. I really should tell you but I don't know why I am keeping it such a secret.]